Eyes Closed #6

dec 12 - eyes closed #6Sam suggested I make a list of my triggers for my anxiety in order to sort through them and either avoid them or overcome them.

You know that feeling of your heart rising in your chest? Like when you’re on a roller coaster or something. That’s how it feels. The intensity differs, but that general feeling is the same.

Here is a list of everything that made me anxious this morning:

  • Running into Terry
  • Running into Shaun
  • My car breaking down
  • Getting an oil change
  • My dad calling me
  • Going for lunch with my dad
  • Communicating with my dad
  • A work meeting scheduled for January
  • Having a drink at Leo’s (I don’t currently have any plans to go to Leo’s, nor have I ever had a negative experience at Leo’s)
  • The guy I just charged being mad at me
  • The guy’s girlfriend being mad at me
  • Articles that have numbers in the title
  • Facebook memes
  • Receiving a text message
  • Being too cold/too hot later in the day
  • Being discriminated against
  • Waiting for police to contact me
  • Shaun liking a Facebook post yesterday
  • Shaun not liking a Facebook post today
  • Wearing my fascinator on the “wrong” side of my head
  • My mic pack showing when I was live on air
  • A Huffington post article about stepmoms
  • Not being able to play guitar
  • Being asked for life advice
  • Feeling like I should offer life advice
  • Being anxious
  • Eating a sandwich for lunch, instead of something with vegetables

To put this in perspective, here is another list – of the things that did NOT make me anxious today:

  • Being on television
  • Producing a television show
  • Having to finish a story at the last minute because the reporter working on it had been called away for a family emergency
  • Preparing an interview with the Premier
  • Preparing a turkey dinner for this evening
  • Leaving my oven on with the turkey cooking when I was at work
  • Eating cake for breakfast
  • My body image