I can’t wait to do this project again when I’m a mother – by then I’m sure I’ll have learned every possible way of removing all possible stains out of all types of carpets, furniture – and I hate to say it, mattresses.

I won’t tell you what Flayla did to the bed (lest you are eating while reading this), but it wasn’t pretty.

I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to kick her in the nose (I’m not a violent person and would never kick my dog – but I wanted to). I wanted to swear at that little She-Devil. But I didn’t.

Instead, I gently coaxed her into her kennel, calling her “Sweetie” as I closed the gate, emulating the soothing tone my mom uses with her – and with me, even still that I’m all grown up. I tried to do the best impersonation of my mom: pretending to love the little rat (ok, actually loving the little rat) and setting my own anger aside, while I got ready for my day, ate breakfast, and left the house to rent a steam cleaner (which only just fit in my smart car and cost me $55.)

I will be a good mom one day.