Sometimes I feel like I’m nothing more than a silhouette. People see the shell of who I am, coloured in by their own past experiences and set of values that make up how they perceive the world.
Sometimes they try to convince me that their perception of me is who I really am – that I should adopt their impression of me as my own identity.
Whenever I realize that someone I care about doesn’t get me, despite my best efforts to reveal myself and represent myself accurately, I become aware of how much I still have to learn about love. Sometimes you have to be the one to model what you wish others would have modeled for you.
Sometimes I wish there was someone who loved my silhouette and intuitively knew to hug me and tell me it’s okay – that I’m okay. But more often I’m finding I wish I could do that for myself. I wish I could be as gentle and forgiving of myself as I am with others. I wish I could tell myself I’m okay. Maybe then I would free myself to love more deeply, more genuinely, less possessively and more readily.
Loving without hesitation would be a good place to be.
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